"Titled"

[note: "dikē" is based on the Greek that (as far as I know) is pronounced like the word "decay"]

Tear stains bleed away these glittered eyes

These forgotten faces brushed aside

(Identity genocide)

- grief besets us all -

Self divisions

Mind and nature

Sky and madness

Man and body

(oracle visions)

And none to rule them all

Dikē decay, Justice arrayed

And shivers, blinded in the formless cold,

The chaos void, where none can see

Away and fade

- These sutured seams -

The Shadow dances

And turns to face the killing light

(Formless)

No shape silhouetted

(Formless)

Shapeless nothing

For belief defines the anchor

- EXISTENCE -

(the question remains)

And fury transformed to Figures

Constructed idols of society's guise

The Kindly Ones lie

bent, beset, broken

- vows -

temple priestess, goddess, pray

(raped)

Ritual schemes establish puppet brigade

(Dikē)

Nothing comes from Nothing

Dangerous games they play

- the gods -

Dematerialize materials never formed

Dust to dust

To chaos we return

Deconstructed structure

- the center cannot hold -

Aeschylus to Yeats?

Suffer into truth, dear child

Laws precede the gods

Paradoxical center

(illusion)

Labyrinth or maze,

No truth resides within

(delusions)

The Curses of a thousand tongues

Herald, Bacchus, revelry Lord

Lord chaos reign

Lord chaos reign

(rioting)

dream intoxication loose on the world

spit on disintegration

- repeated crimes -

Father forgive

Father forgive

Father forgive

(survival)

Helios rise!

- desperate -

Baseless words hold no sway

ANARCHY

Language collapses

(discord)

- unexist this lawlessness -

Reality

(cannot hold)

{wordless}

there are melodies like your skin
very soft and achingly close that pull me
apart (and in) as my wholeness melts intoyou and-
collides against the great divides of your heart.
i break at your touch, your voice and eyes blend and hold-
me, with love, needing and longing, always.

mi estrellita, i clasp in my hand
to the first star i pray, no wishes on shooting stars.
the first i saw, the first i loved. please,
don't fall (away from me).

Shapes

My favorite shape

in the circle of your arms

around the cylinder of my waste

the exlcusion of space.

Lucy's Kiss

Your eyes play like fingers across the curve of my neck

Your lover's "caress"

In dark hallways and midnight gloom

Your gaze never falters, desire unwaning,

In your presence I'm hypnotized

Oh lover, my lover

Never let your devotion fade

Engulf me in you, in your kiss

You approach so slowly like the fall of night

Your "lover's advance"

Phantom hands through intervening distance

My body yielded to your gentle probes

As I pour into your arms

Oh lover, my lover

I'm now longer my own

Subjugate my body with your kiss

You besiege my embarkments and topple my towers

Your "lover's assault"

Triumphant conquerer before my surrendered defenses

Possess me with your supple form

I'm lost in you tonight

Oh lover, my lover

My master you'll be

Claim me now with your kiss

My ivory throat lays bare beneath a silver moon

Your lover's "checkmate"

Unnoticed punctures free the sparkling crimson tide

Drink my soul with your scarlet lips;

The end will come tonight

Oh lover, my lover

Ecstasy gently claims me

As I die within your kiss

she walks around much

by herself, looks at me sometimes. 

she thinks things are awkward. 

i don't know what she expected. 

i don't know what else to do,

how else to act. 

we make eye contact

and it's like a tractor beam

i have to avoid. 

(because i love it.)

just to say so many things to her

oh, to say things

would be such joy

would be so right. 

she knows it too. 

i wish this were easy

i wish we were near

i wish hearts didn't burn.

i said "let's go back to california where all our dreams 

became chords in songs we never sang and 

all our hopes turned into snapped strings."

she said "let me take my mirror and my books

for all our broken hearts will surely be stories 

and all these stories will leave my eyes a blurry, runny

tragedy."

so what else could i do? 

i said "i'll see what i can do."

and we went. 

on the drive, we listened to hymns that strummed, strummed

our heart-strings and we read each other verse 

that struck our heart(s) of hearts with a canonical

ice-pick. 

left behind were past flames (now dead or dying), families, winter-time,

autumn, autumn colors, the twin cities, and people we never really cared 

to speak to again anyway. 

we arrived and settled in. 

and we are there to this very day. 

maybe.

California

From West and East you were the desire

Rush the golden palace to stake a claim

Where refugees gathered

For new life and new hopes,

The pursuit of happiness and land

You're the West to which the gateway led

The dream for which a generation bled.

From gold rush to a silver screen,

You're a fame-seekers wet dream -

An earthquake that moved the world

Going to California

With a wish on their breath

An aching in their hearts

And a desperate prayer

Seeking that promise of a fresh start you deny

You're everyone's dream, baby,

So why can't I care?

Now your skies are blue and your sun scorches

Over manufactured houses and manicured lawns.

Your plastic dolls lie on crowded beaches,

The stars you wish on slowly fall,

As we all play the game that shows the world

How useless we are.

Lines of exhaust fill the veins of the city,

Clogging the blood of us all,

Waiting for the heart attack that never comes

To this body without life

But I hate these acts,

The people who use you as an escape

Like cheap alcohol and whores,

When you're my prison

From which I seek escape but will always remain;

You're my abusive relationship I think I can save

But soon your skies will fill with smoke

- the billows I miss -

The red sunsets and lights of a thousand fires

I'll blow smoke rings in the fading glimmer

And I'll return to

The cold nights and starlit mountains

I'll return to the desert where this all began

To a struggle for life, not lies,

Dreams don't matter when you can barely survive.

Be a real desert for my heart,

The burning sun and scouring sand

Will scorch away my tears

And maybe I'll escape this desert of the real

we wait (pt. two)

frozen days pass

like

boxcars laden

with

grain

and nights are 

cold(er) anyway.

where is retribution? and

where is 

singularity (in this mess)?

with whatever for, we

have lost

it all.

all silver. 

all lost. 

silver all lost. 

or is it? 

i

think - not. 

I Need to Get Away (California-style)

I’m starving for a picnic
on the shore of a California beach;

a chance to relive those twelve-hour vacations
that were more than a day off work,
a day off school,
a day to ditch
the daily grind.

they were
this-is-the-life moments
that got me through the rest of the year.

my dad’s tennis shoes filling with sand,
bath towels posing as beach towels,
novels that would never be read,
scattered around,
looking relaxing just lying there.
one of us setting off to find a shell
that isn’t broken;
that is smooth and perfect.

I want to feel those memories

in the calm-me-down
content-with-this
part
of my stomach,

while I let the sun make a color wheel
on the inside of my eyes.

please

make me an uncomplicated sandwich

and spread it with peace
or peanut butter;
whichever is on hand.

because
like a mermaid returning to sea-weed bed sheets
after a trial run with Egyptian cotton;
I am home again--

feeding off the waves

that fuel something inside me
that goes dry
when I’ve been away for too long

tell me with your eyes,
you-don’t-have-to-go-back-just-yet.

tell me,
“that sunburn looks great on you.”

tell me that sand is nature’s pedicure
and that when I take off my shoes,
I have become a world traveler;

standing on stones
that have touched a thousand shores.




(Note: This poem is still a rough draft. Any suggestions for how to make it better would be appreciated.)

sparks (part I)

sparks (* and life begins—)
            rise
flames        , but then
                                       die.

this is all. life =
mean of * + loss + * + loss

(*I am, *I am, *I am…)
what I was — could be.

I could be, I am…

I was waiting for—

   (     )      .