I Need to Get Away (California-style)

I’m starving for a picnic
on the shore of a California beach;

a chance to relive those twelve-hour vacations
that were more than a day off work,
a day off school,
a day to ditch
the daily grind.

they were
this-is-the-life moments
that got me through the rest of the year.

my dad’s tennis shoes filling with sand,
bath towels posing as beach towels,
novels that would never be read,
scattered around,
looking relaxing just lying there.
one of us setting off to find a shell
that isn’t broken;
that is smooth and perfect.

I want to feel those memories

in the calm-me-down
of my stomach,

while I let the sun make a color wheel
on the inside of my eyes.


make me an uncomplicated sandwich

and spread it with peace
or peanut butter;
whichever is on hand.

like a mermaid returning to sea-weed bed sheets
after a trial run with Egyptian cotton;
I am home again--

feeding off the waves

that fuel something inside me
that goes dry
when I’ve been away for too long

tell me with your eyes,

tell me,
“that sunburn looks great on you.”

tell me that sand is nature’s pedicure
and that when I take off my shoes,
I have become a world traveler;

standing on stones
that have touched a thousand shores.

(Note: This poem is still a rough draft. Any suggestions for how to make it better would be appreciated.)

1 comment:

  1. The only line I'm not especially fond of is the peace and peanut butter line. It just.. feels too.. wispy - in an otherwise very tangible poem (sand, picnic, tennis shoes.)
    I love the "let the sun make a color wheel" and the "that sunburn looks great on you" lines. Both are very real and relatable even though not commonly acknowledged.

    I think one of the weaknesses of the poem is that it could be a little on the wandering side. I definitely see how that was intentional, and it does play a big part in the mood and flow, but I think it could be reigned in a little bit to keep it feeling a little more solid and directional. If that makes sense...

    I do like how the end ties back in to the beginning - becoming a world traveler explains how a beach day can be "more than a day off work". That's a good theme running through it. :)

    Enjoyable read overall!