vacation days III


I always thought

that fresh things were better

than saved things, but now

I think I’ll buy

some zip-lock bags

and call it a day


my sloppy eagerness,

whispered words,

and green lights kisses

make me

feel anything

but okay.

{non est inventus}

i've always been a bird on the wire
connected only because i hold on
but the wire began to shake
and i spun out of control
till i didn't know which way was up
and i felt
to dro

ame qui vive
and i lay there with no wires to hold me up
(or in)
and all was absent,

(& now this bird has flown)
but the fall had made me know.

i never reached heights by flight
invisibly caged by what i knew
i was taken-

led by the feel and pull of the wind
(inside) this whirlwind
i discerned your hand

you led me by the paths on your palms
and then there were your lips
with their rhythm and whispers
{and curving like the petals of a rose}
intimate strength i pull from there
until you go and i sing a single strain
from 'terribly afar in the lost lands'


[note: "dikē" is based on the Greek that (as far as I know) is pronounced like the word "decay"]

Tear stains bleed away these glittered eyes
These forgotten faces brushed aside
(Identity genocide)
- grief besets us all -
Self divisions
Mind and nature
Sky and madness
Man and body
(oracle visions)
And none to rule them all

Dikē decay, Justice arrayed
And shivers, blinded in the formless cold,
The chaos void, where none can see
Away and fade
- These sutured seams -
The Shadow dances
And turns to face the killing light
No shape silhouetted
Shapeless nothing
For belief defines the anchor
(the question remains)

And fury transformed to Figures
Constructed idols of society's guise
The Kindly Ones lie
bent, beset, broken
- vows -
temple priestess, goddess, pray
Ritual schemes establish puppet brigade
Nothing comes from Nothing
Dangerous games they play
- the gods -
Dematerialize materials never formed
Dust to dust
To chaos we return

Deconstructed structure
- the center cannot hold -
Aeschylus to Yeats?
Suffer into truth, dear child
Laws precede the gods
Paradoxical center
Labyrinth or maze,
No truth resides within
The Curses of a thousand tongues
Herald, Bacchus, revelry Lord

Lord chaos reign
Lord chaos reign
dream intoxication loose on the world
spit on disintegration
- repeated crimes -
Father forgive
Father forgive
Father forgive
Helios rise!
- desperate -
Baseless words hold no sway

Language collapses
- unexist this lawlessness -

(cannot hold)


there are melodies like your skin
very soft and achingly close that pull me
apart (and in) as my wholeness melts intoyou and-
collides against the great divides of your heart.
i break at your touch, your voice and eyes blend and hold-
me, with love, needing and longing, always.

mi estrellita, i clasp in my hand
to the first star i pray, no wishes on shooting stars.
the first i saw, the first i loved. please,
don't fall (away from me).


My favorite shape
in the circle of your arms
around the cylinder of my waste

the exlcusion of space.

Lucy's Kiss

Your eyes play like fingers across the curve of my neck
Your lover's "caress"
In dark hallways and midnight gloom
Your gaze never falters, desire unwaning,
In your presence I'm hypnotized

Oh lover, my lover
Never let your devotion fade
Engulf me in you, in your kiss

You approach so slowly like the fall of night
Your "lover's advance"
Phantom hands through intervening distance
My body yielded to your gentle probes
As I pour into your arms

Oh lover, my lover
I'm now longer my own
Subjugate my body with your kiss

You besiege my embarkments and topple my towers
Your "lover's assault"
Triumphant conquerer before my surrendered defenses
Possess me with your supple form
I'm lost in you tonight

Oh lover, my lover
My master you'll be
Claim me now with your kiss

My ivory throat lays bare beneath a silver moon
Your lover's "checkmate"
Unnoticed punctures free the sparkling crimson tide
Drink my soul with your scarlet lips;
The end will come tonight

Oh lover, my lover
Ecstasy gently claims me
As I die within your kiss
she walks around much
by herself, looks at me sometimes. 
she thinks things are awkward. 
i don't know what she expected. 
i don't know what else to do,
how else to act. 
we make eye contact
and it's like a tractor beam
i have to avoid. 
(because i love it.)

just to say so many things to her
oh, to say things
would be such joy
would be so right. 

she knows it too. 

i wish this were easy
i wish we were near
i wish hearts didn't burn.