vacation days III

III.

I always thought

that fresh things were better

than saved things, but now

I think I’ll buy

some zip-lock bags

and call it a day

because

my sloppy eagerness,

whispered words,

and green lights kisses

make me

feel anything

but okay.

{non est inventus}

i've always been a bird on the wire

connected only because i hold on

(sosotightly)

but the wire began to shake

and i spun out of control

till i didn't know which way was up

and i felt

myself

be-

gin

to dro
p

.

ame qui vive

and i lay there with no wires to hold me up

(or in)

and all was absent,

(& now this bird has flown)

but the fall had made me know.

i never reached heights by flight

invisibly caged by what i knew

i was taken-

led by the feel and pull of the wind

(inside) this whirlwind

i discerned your hand

you led me by the paths on your palms

and then there were your lips

with their rhythm and whispers

{and curving like the petals of a rose}

intimate strength i pull from there

until you go and i sing a single strain

from 'terribly afar in the lost lands'

"Titled"

[note: "dikē" is based on the Greek that (as far as I know) is pronounced like the word "decay"]

Tear stains bleed away these glittered eyes

These forgotten faces brushed aside

(Identity genocide)

- grief besets us all -

Self divisions

Mind and nature

Sky and madness

Man and body

(oracle visions)

And none to rule them all

Dikē decay, Justice arrayed

And shivers, blinded in the formless cold,

The chaos void, where none can see

Away and fade

- These sutured seams -

The Shadow dances

And turns to face the killing light

(Formless)

No shape silhouetted

(Formless)

Shapeless nothing

For belief defines the anchor

- EXISTENCE -

(the question remains)

And fury transformed to Figures

Constructed idols of society's guise

The Kindly Ones lie

bent, beset, broken

- vows -

temple priestess, goddess, pray

(raped)

Ritual schemes establish puppet brigade

(Dikē)

Nothing comes from Nothing

Dangerous games they play

- the gods -

Dematerialize materials never formed

Dust to dust

To chaos we return

Deconstructed structure

- the center cannot hold -

Aeschylus to Yeats?

Suffer into truth, dear child

Laws precede the gods

Paradoxical center

(illusion)

Labyrinth or maze,

No truth resides within

(delusions)

The Curses of a thousand tongues

Herald, Bacchus, revelry Lord

Lord chaos reign

Lord chaos reign

(rioting)

dream intoxication loose on the world

spit on disintegration

- repeated crimes -

Father forgive

Father forgive

Father forgive

(survival)

Helios rise!

- desperate -

Baseless words hold no sway

ANARCHY

Language collapses

(discord)

- unexist this lawlessness -

Reality

(cannot hold)

{wordless}

there are melodies like your skin
very soft and achingly close that pull me
apart (and in) as my wholeness melts intoyou and-
collides against the great divides of your heart.
i break at your touch, your voice and eyes blend and hold-
me, with love, needing and longing, always.

mi estrellita, i clasp in my hand
to the first star i pray, no wishes on shooting stars.
the first i saw, the first i loved. please,
don't fall (away from me).

Shapes

My favorite shape

in the circle of your arms

around the cylinder of my waste

the exlcusion of space.

Lucy's Kiss

Your eyes play like fingers across the curve of my neck

Your lover's "caress"

In dark hallways and midnight gloom

Your gaze never falters, desire unwaning,

In your presence I'm hypnotized

Oh lover, my lover

Never let your devotion fade

Engulf me in you, in your kiss

You approach so slowly like the fall of night

Your "lover's advance"

Phantom hands through intervening distance

My body yielded to your gentle probes

As I pour into your arms

Oh lover, my lover

I'm now longer my own

Subjugate my body with your kiss

You besiege my embarkments and topple my towers

Your "lover's assault"

Triumphant conquerer before my surrendered defenses

Possess me with your supple form

I'm lost in you tonight

Oh lover, my lover

My master you'll be

Claim me now with your kiss

My ivory throat lays bare beneath a silver moon

Your lover's "checkmate"

Unnoticed punctures free the sparkling crimson tide

Drink my soul with your scarlet lips;

The end will come tonight

Oh lover, my lover

Ecstasy gently claims me

As I die within your kiss

she walks around much

by herself, looks at me sometimes. 

she thinks things are awkward. 

i don't know what she expected. 

i don't know what else to do,

how else to act. 

we make eye contact

and it's like a tractor beam

i have to avoid. 

(because i love it.)

just to say so many things to her

oh, to say things

would be such joy

would be so right. 

she knows it too. 

i wish this were easy

i wish we were near

i wish hearts didn't burn.